Kids

I don't know how to handle kids.

I like them, but I have no idea what to do with them.

Maybe it's because I'm the youngest in the family.

I didn't get a chance to take care of someone younger than me.

They seem to like me though.

What you lookin at child?

I have never even carried a baby.

 I'm afraid I would drop it (them or whatever pronoun should be used).

(You see, I can't even properly use kids in a sentence)

People have tried to make me carry one, but I always answer the same.

Break her she said

When I was about 12, my younger cousin wanted to play with me. 

I did and...

it went way worse than expected.

I had no idea kids don't know the concept of jokes.

The Gaydar

Has this ever happened to you?

OMG. Soooo cute.

But then you find out...

Gay as Ricky Martin baby

HE HAS A BOYFRIEND

HOY SHIT BALLS

Don't worry. There is a way to prevent this from happening again.

We present you....

This  technology will tell you nothing but the truth. 

Is he straight? 

Is he gay? 

Or is he somewhere in between?

Meter breakdown

So never fear, The Gaydar is here.

Thank you Gaydar!!

Why do superheroes wear underwear on the outside?

This is a serious question.

Super Douche

Batman, Spiderman, and Superman all do it. But why?

Is it to attract females for alien impregnation?

ooooh pretty!

 Girls love red panties.

Is it for easier urination?

pew pew pew

They could be targeting us right at this very moment for all we know.

 Maybe there are pockets inside and they have an emergency kit.

 

Who needs cellphones when you have coins?

 Or is it to distract supervillians?

Super Douche with Jelly Boy and Lizard Snake

Dream Boy

I do not understand this obsession with Asian men who look like Asian women.

If you are not aware of this, click here.

This is common in Japan, Taiwan, and Korea. 

Their popular male celebrities seem...effeminate and/or metrosexual.

Bitches love girly men

The ideal man is usually described as having broad shoulders, a muscular body, and perfect bone structure.

Like this for example.

Western ideal guy

Now compare that picture with this one.

Eastern ideal guy

 See the difference? You're blind if you didn't.

Do they not appeal to me because I am insecure that they are prettier than me?

The Asian Man and the not so pretty girl next to him

Fuck no.

Inevitable Awkward Moments

Seeing a friend after a long long time

So happy to see you

Reminiscing

Running out of things to talk about

And there it is

Awkward goodbye

Thinking you know someone

I am certain that is my friend cause he wears a blue cap

Approach

Who the fuck is this?

Run away

Friend introduces you to his other friend

Herp meet Derp

Everything is well

Suddenly

......

How To Subtly Annoy People

When inside an elevator, face the other way. You should be facing everyone in the little space. This makes everything awkward. Smiling is optional.

The illustration below shows the view from the back and "my view" to show strangers reactions to the awkwardness caused.

Elevator Awkwardness

When a roommate or a friend is really busy, pop out of nowhere and ask Whatchudoin?

To maximize annoyance level, say with a happy innocent tone, and a huge stupid grin .

Jamissme?

When insomnia strikes, force people to stay up with you. Lie next to them on their bed and talk to them. When you notice their eyes starting to close, say Don't sleep yet!

The Roommate

When you happen to wake up earlier than everyone, jump on them.

This can also be used when a person asks you to wake them up at a certain time.

Jumping is caring

When in class, touch the face of the person sitting next to you. 

It doesn't matter if you know him or not.

TOUCH

Who knows, this person could be your next significant other.

What the fuck

The Passive Aggressive Child

There was once a little girl

She was precious as a pearl.

She liked the color pink.

Adorable, don't you think?

The Passive Aggressive Child

But there was something about her,

And her parents concur.

She possessed a certain trait.

Oh just you wait..

One day she saw a bear.

She wanted to name it Claire

Claire the bear

She wanted it so

But mom and dad said no.

They said no

The little girl sighed.

She wasn't the type who cried.

Oh no you didn't mommy

So she started sulking.

And mom tried bargaining.

Bargaining

Other wishes they tried to grant

All she said was "Do not want"

As they had dinner,

She insisted on sitting in a corner.

Dinner

She was ruining their mood.

What a waste of food.

"Do not want" she said repeatedly.

 Mom and dad hated it, obviously.

 

 

Mom and dad gave in

 

They got so sick and tired that they gave in with such despair. 

With poker faces, they handed her the bear.

With a smirk on her face,

And her movements full of grace.

For one last time, she said it so brilliant,

Soft Addictions

I was watching TV the other day and saw something about "Soft Addictions." Soft addictions are addictions that aren't as harmful as drugs, alcohol, and those kinds of addictions. Some of these involve shopping, eating, and the one that most of us suffer from, internet addiction. DUN DUN DUN.

As I was watching the show, I realize that I do show some symptoms.

Zoning out

I'm in the zone bitches

Do you forget everything you had in your mind? 

Do you stop noticing the people around you? 

Does everything suddenly seem silent? 

Yes. Pssshh. They don't matter anyway. (DENIAL)

It affects your daily activities

3am

Do you get out of your way just to do it?

Do you devote your time and energy to it?  

Yes. It really is fun? C'mon!!

Hiding the behavior

Uhhh.. yeah.

Do you lie about your behavior?

Do you feel ashamed of it?

Yes and uhhh not really. I'm not ashamed. It's just... people won't understand!!

I'm no freak!

Conclusion, I probably have a soft addiction to the internet.

SAD

Yeah, I want to change my behavior. It's toxic.

So, I shall try. Never again!!

But wait..

What's this?

A new post?

Oooooh!! Pretty!

............