School Dresscode

My school has a dresscode.

No shorts/skirts 3 inches above the knee

No low cut shirts

No sling sandals/flip flops

The problem is, that's my entire wardrobe.

I live in a tropical country.

Don't expect me to have long sleeved tops and thermal pants.

I don't want to buy clothes I don't want to wear so I make my own clothes work.

There are 3 ways I can get past the guards.

1. The Mermaid

Low-cut shirt?

Cover with hair!

But I have short hair now so fuck

2. Ghetto Ass Asian

Short bottoms?

Pull it down!

I quote Ludacris "How low can you go?"

3. Shawshank Redemption

Wrong footwear?

Make a run for it!

I hide under the stairs until they stop looking for me

All these methods have been tried and tested.

 It may not work for you, but it definitely works for me.

Chicken Dinner

The other day, I decided to cook dinner.

The thing is, I can't cook.

I've tried, but it never tasted the way it should.

Or it's completely burnt.

This is what happened.

Me: I'm gonna cook dinner!

Dad and brother: Silence

Mother of god, not again

So I went to the kitchen and started preparing..

Cooking mama

Suddenly, my dad pops up out of nowhere and looks at what I'm doing.

He pointed to what was on the table and said,

That's onions.

I was a bit offended.

I know what onions are.

I can't cook, but I can tell onions from potatoes.

Winner winner chicken dinner

The food came out pretty decent.

I felt proud.

And so we sat down on the table and as my dad sliced it.

Oops

Blood.

It was extremely raw.